Operation Kurwa MacPart of the Polocaust
Dates 28-02-13
Location Cebulandia (Onionland)
Result Overwhelming Victory of coalition
Belligerents
Flag Battkhortostan
Flag Kriegstein Consulate
Flag Emmeria
Flag Onionland
Leaders and Commanders
Flag K_Chris
Flag Sidmarcus01
Flag RebelBaron
Flag Blendzior
Strength
7 12
Losses
A lot of blood from Chris's anus Many

A coalition of men, tired of the Potato language filling up #chat set out to rid the server of Polacks. It was an overwhelming victory and will be a lesson to all Poles throughout the ages that English is the official master-tongue.

Here's a little background, gentlemen. In the years to come, this conflict will in all likelihood be forgot. In the early months of MMXIII the server was invaded. Not by Finns as it had prior, but by the Polish. The Polish who refuse after all prompting to converse in a legible language, who constantly fill our screens with their archaic tongue, and do this on purpose strictly to bother us. K_Chris attacked twice and decimated the Poles twice, and each time they promised to give up their Polski ways and speak the international language.
You can, however, never trust a Pole.
When it was determined that the Poles had no intentions of stopping, Western Europeans and North Americans met at spawn and declared a crusade against the Polish. Many were killed, many more will remember this traumatic battle for their entire lives.

tl;dr K_Chris thought it would be fun to slaughter unarmed polish people until he got killed himself. Blendzior, who had killed him, gentlemanly allowed him to retrieve his stuff. Then K_Chris started raging, almost got killed again but teleported back home to avoid further humiliation. When he finally killed Blendzior, he stood on his death chest fighting in the world famous canadian style. When he got tired of swinging his sword at defenseless Poles, he returned back to his homeland. Little time passed when he came back with a bunch of decked out guys, mad as hell and the war started.

A simple mission to force the Poles to speak English backfired. Whereas they had been cut like a hot knife through butter mere hours before, they had begun thinking and planning to defend their capitol. With K_Chris and Blendzior locked in combat, a plan was hatched by the Coalition forces to relieve him and aide him in combat.

The first wave of Coalition forces ready their blades and strike down Rosenmann.

It became clear early on that the battle was going to be very tough. The Poles, at least, those who hadn't locked themselves in a tower far away, were competent if not only persistent.

A Polish citizen who provoked a Crusader is chased down to face his execution.

The streets of Cebulandia were littered with cenotaphs belonging to both sides, and after the houses were searched and cleared of all lives, the Coalition began looking for those who hid. K_Chris discovered a tower full of Poles and made a futile effort to kill them all before they blocked all entryways with obsidian.

Cowardly Poles hiding from Coalition forces.

Desperate times, however, call for desperate measures, and it was determined that the tower needed to be destroyed. In a last ditch effort, the tower was scaled by unarmoured Coalition forces and set ablaze as a torrent of lava covered all those inside. Zombies were spawned inside as well. It became apparent that the Poles were too well dug-in to kill through legitimate means, so K_Chris made a deal with the devil.

Pictured: the Devil.

A Wither was spawned to destroy the tower. Those that weren't killed in the explosions jumped to their deaths soon-after in a feeble attempt to flee.
V1adimirr declared the battle over, with the Coalition being the victors.

Sidmarcus asked for all surviving crusaders to come with him to Kriegstein, where a celebration was held, heralding the supposed end of the Polocaust.

Party time.

All Coalition members were inducted into the Kriegsteinian Order, being awarded honours by the ruling triumvirate.

Lots of blood and tears were shed for decency's sake. Also, pole ass devastation. And last but not the least, all participants of the war has experienced FUN.

We'll see where this road takes us.

  • battles/operation_kurwa_mac.txt
  • Last modified: 2015/11/12 22:22
  • by alphabernd