MARNIE Archives January 2016

This page holds archived editions of the MARNIE newspaper which is published every Monday. The Archive contains at least four-week-old issues, and links are clickable despite what the Editor's Notes of the paper editions say. In order to keep the reading content manageable, each month will have its own page.

Midgard's Alpha Realm News
International Edition
January 4th, 2016

Editor's Note:
Pictures can be viewed at when exchanging '???' with the photo number given in the articles. Other links lead to this server's wiki.

In Worldwide News:
'Blink And You Miss It' War, page 32

In Regional News:
Cobble Cleanup, page 40

In Local News:
Proper Stables, page 45

Worldwide News

Brazen Theft
(hf) Last Tuesday, Grand Duke Tomoko of the Grand Duchy of Hohenfels noticed great amounts of emeralds stolen from one of his treasuries, as well as forty item frames. A quick investigation discovered Resident GnFur ofthe Tsardom of Solntze-Grad as the culprit.
Moderator Koduck came to join the investigation and noticed the chest in question was a donation chest, concluding Resident GnFur had abused a bug that was thought to have been fixed a month ago. Moderator GlitchyBat assisted with a background check and discovered when the thief had stowed the item frames in question, providing further proof.
The stolen frames and emeralds were returned and Resident GnFur received a two-week prison sentence in absentia.
However, the next evening his leader Master Paladin Massolit of the Tsardom of Solntze-Grad passionately defended his “comrade” despite the proofs cited by the moderators, and Moderator Koduck agreed to at least afford Resident GnFur a shot at defending himself. He was called to a confidential interview and his sentence subsequently lifted on Wednesday evening.

Siverny Progress
(si) During the past week, King Sidmarcus01 of Siverny proudly announced and presented the progress on his island Siverny, physically as well thematically. He “finally found a neat idea for Siverny urbanism,” the King explained, which is “called triple radiocentric urbanism,” meaning the settlement “has three central points.”
While he stated disinterest in interior design of prior buildings, recently a city council was newly built west of Siverny-le-Château.

Overworld Railways
(cw/sg) With the approval of Kaiser Shakomatic of the Holy Danikan Commonwealth, Resident Cyka connected Nova Bydlograd with New Spawn by underground overworld rail at the end of the year. Master Paladin Massolit of the Tsardom of Solntze-Grad added a station for his capital since the line runs right beneath, but the access on the New Spawn end was rather hard to find.
As other railways might be added from various directions, Moderator Koduck decided to preemptively create a metro station at New Spawn where the lines' end points could be gathered. Last Sunday, he requested aesthetic advice from King Niller of Winterlyn, admitting, “I don't really know how to design the exterior and what to put there. I don't really like it.” However, King Niller was unable to join yet, and the design of the outer facade remains open to suggestions for now.

New Year's Party
(ns) On the eve of December 30th, Representative GlitchyBat of the Republic of Ender went to set up some “New Year's machinery” on the New Spawn plaza, which “got light shows and everything.” For the public occasion, Moderator Koduck confirmed other residents' opinion that moderator supplies could be used for the structure and fireworks, and Representative GlitchyBat noted the remains should be destroyed afterwards.
For the actual redstone circuits, he requested the help of Speaker BearMonger, who immediately added a few more ideas like for example a countdown display, which Representative GlitchyBat agreed to. Photo 020 shows the results of the two Enderians' efforts.
Resident TheNerd96 contributed by designing a music machine beneath the plaza but deemed the result as “the most annoying thing I could have made.” For security reasons, High Commissioner Austrobernd of the Mandatory of New Badfacia sent some Commonwealth police forces to the party area, which can be admired on photo 021.
Unfortunately, the Midgard press could not attend the party itself, which was held only once at midnight server time. Little was heard about it afterwards either, although a handful of residents apparently decided to move the party to Moderator Koduck's Funpark in Oceania. On New Year's Day, every couple of hours residents gathered on New Spawn for a little partying to the plaza music on their own, as for example shown on photo 022.

New Term Coined
(ar) Last week, Moderator Koduck introduced a new term he recently invented apparently from sheer exasperation. “I have a new term for Russians who demand 'proofs' because they 'dindu nuffin': proofs dindu.”
Upon indignation regarding the 'innocent until proven guilty'-concept, Moderator Koduck further explained, “If you claim innocence when guilt already was proven or someone was caught red-handed, THEN you are a dindu - definitely.”

Public Slaying of NaziMike
(ns) Possibly being annoyed beyond patience for getting slapped repeatedly, High Commissioner Austrobernd of the Mandatory of New Badfacia quite without warning took permanent action against Resident MikeMallorca last Wednesday evening. He slew him with a stone sword appropriately named 'Mike removal tool'.
Rather than surprise or outrage, the action caused amusement and satisfaction among spectators, and when Resident MikeMallorca returned, he was slain once more, this time with an iron sword, and subsequently also by Residents Erinius and Mimokrokodil. Resident MikeMallorca managed to take down Resident Erinius once when the latter was distracted, but all in all the first victim experienced twelve piercing deaths.
For unknown reasons, Resident Mimokrokodil then turned on H.C. Austrobernd and shot him three times with his bow. Meanwhile, Moderator GlitchyBat arrested Resident MikeMallorca for ten minutes for 'slapping random people at Spawn during fun'.
Once he returned, Resident MikeMallorca continued his actions, causing further fatalities, and was arrested for twenty minutes that time.

Gospel Reception
(ua) A book recently recovered from the Library of Al-Iskandariya and titled The Gospel written by Prime Minister Salah of Umm Al Asufli seems to be more widely accepted than expected.
The book was offered in a free chest at New Spawn last week and quickly distributed among players. However, none commented on the contents. At least one moderator either did not like them or wished to anger Speaker BearMonger of the Republic of Ender (or both), as the latter discovered the book secretly snuck into his backpack when he wasn't looking.
The story, described as “grecoesque mythology” by the author, at least warranted a cursory glance by Speaker BearMonger before he observed the most obvious contradictions and declared, “I don't want to read your bible.” If anyone did read the mythic gospel, they have yet to openly state their opinions.

'Blink And You Miss It' War
(bf/lc) In the earliest hours of Sunday, High Commissioner Austrobernd of the Mandatory of New Badfacia surprised King Darynu of the Kingdom of Lanno-Condeura with a declaration of war not fifteen minutes after confirming that Lanno-Condeura was “still a nation”. When asked for the reason, he replied, “'cause Lebensraum” and “YOLO”. With thanks, he rejected the offered support from the Apostolic Kingdom of Breshik and called for his “digslave” Resident Go_ogin, a veteran who had already fought in two wars for the Commonwealth. King Darynu called upon Residents Kitty4fun and MaxLedeba for support.
The details of the battles could not be discerned from the talk in the ether, but on the page in the Autism Almanac the victor provided a detailed account after the fact. The matters at stake were simple: “If I win, you will admit that Badface is better,” H.C. Austrobernd demanded, and win he did. At that time, he even amended his demand to, “The last point is, that you openly admit your defeat, and admit that Condeura is weaker (in its current state) that Badface.”
It still clearly pained King Darynu who answered, “Condeura is not weak. Condeura is never weak. I will admit defeat, but we are strong in unity and in heart. However our military is severely lacking, I will say that.”
In honor of his brave enemy's dignity, H.C. Austrobernd agreed to include a clause noting precisely that in the peace treaty which can be viewed at the page He asked for a place to build an embassy in the capital but was given the bureaucratic if apologetic runaround.
H.C. Austrobernd himself now proudly leads the autism list of confirmed kills with over two hundred deaths caused and a gap of over one hundred to the Enderian runner-up.

Regional News

Cobble Cleanup
(mm/bs) After a nether access to Jailtown, a small abandoned village in the northeast of Snowbelt Continent where residents are imprisoned in a tower, was connected to the NEAR Transports line to Blahsper Community on December 31st, a demolition crew was sent out to clean up the one-block cobblestone railway suspended over the ocean that previously connected the two settlements.
The tracks were created by the residents of Blahsper Community despite great disapproval it received from various neighbors at the time. They did so with the stated purpose of wanting to visit and explore, and have not been active again since.
Now that their settlement is unobtrusively connected not only to Jailville but many other areas as well via the nether, the suspended eyesore was deemed unnecessary.
Unfortunately, most materials were lost to the sea during the demolition. What little could be saved on earthy terrain was decided to be kept by Midgard Municipality, as compensation for services rendered.

Local News

Proper Stables
(mm) During the past week, Architect Mel was given the green light to implement the more secure stables layout he had designed a months ago. To date, nineteen individual stalls were built with glass walls in order to prevent wall suffocation, one of the most common natural deaths on our island. A breeding area was included, and another stable for mules and donkeys will be added next week. Currently, Architect Mel is researching several training course designs, as the horse owners have frequently requested a method to ascertain their steed's specialties and weaknesses. According to him, one of the most promising design is the ranch High Commissioner Austrobernd of the Mandatory of New Badfacia introduced him to in Badforest last summer.

Midgard's Alpha Realm News
International Edition
January 11th, 2016

Editor's Note:
Pictures can be viewed at when exchanging '???' with the photo number given in the articles. Other links lead to this server's wiki.

In Worldwide News:
Artifact War, page 18

In Regional News:
Holiday Progress, page 41

In Local News:
Area Cleanup, page 44

Worldwide News

End of Badface
(bf) Barely a week after renaming itself to 'Confederation' and annexing the United Duchy of the Two Sorras, Badface once more returns to the state of Mandate, this time controlled by the Reichsrat of the Holy Danikan Commonwealth, when High Commissioner Austrobernd announced his decision to resign his position for personal reasons on January 7th. Neither action had true political impact on the once more abandoned Two Sorras.

Winterlyn With I
(wl) Last week, King Niller of Winterlyn started to demonstrate some national pride by finding and fixing misspellings of his kingdom's name in the Autism Almanac. He focused mainly on pages connected to the Commonwealth at first and has a long way to go. Mindful readers who mention Winterlyn on their pages are asked to check and proof the spelling themselves. “It's called Winterlyn with an 'i' and not a 'y' - everything else is racist,” the King asserted yesterday.

Action Against Terror
(er) Last Wednesday, President Hinoarashi of the Republic of Ender proposed in the Enderian Congress 'a bill funding and authorizing the use of force and cooperation with the Eastern Commonwealth in order to combat terrorist organizations.' It cites committing 'such atrocities as shitbuilding at Spawn and randomly attacking innocent civilians at Spawn' as examples and names as a primary target a terror group called 'Imperial Alpharealms', a.k.a. 'REICH'.

(sg) Last Wednesday, the leadership of Sacred Solntze-Grad decided to expound on their chosen religion called Cruxverusism in some detail. The essay can be studied on the page Despite a claim of long tradition, this page is the first ever mention of it in the Autism Almanac. Sacred Solntze-Grad's military forces, the Cruxritters, are directly governed by religious leaders.

Nautic Syndicate
(na) Having freed himself from political responsibilities, former High Commissioner Austrobernd of the Mandatory of New Badfacia founded a political faction named 'Syndicate of the High Sea Bastion of Nautica' or short, the Nautic Syndicate, last Thursday. It is located on the ocean monument which was remodeled into a guardian farm by Austrobernd, who will preside over the Syndicate as Grand Admiral henceforth. As, according to its entry in the Autism Almanac, a whole settlement is planned to come to life there, formerly mentioned considerations about providing public access to the guardian farm beneath are currently in doubt. Depending on the Syndicate's grasp on business, they might possibly grant usage rights for a price. A promising hint in that direction is the Mercenary Guild of Nautica which was established the same day. More about the group can be read on their page

Debt Crisis Essay
(cw/ek) The reason for hidden animosity smoldering for months between Creator Tangaloa of Elkkuton and representatives of the Holy Danikan Commonwealth was brought to light on January 6th. For anyone interested in history or even just a well-formulated account of said history, MARNIE journalists recommend the essay on page, penned by Creator Tangaloa himself.

Artifact War
(cw/sg) On January 7th, King Niller of Winterlyn acted upon rumors evidently spread by Grand Admiral Austrobernd of the Nautic Syndicate and declared war on the neighboring nation Sacred Solntze-Grad.
The bone of contention was the so-called 'Holy Chestpiece of Danika', the existence, origins and history of which could not be verified due to the absence of prior mentions in the Autism Almanac. According to the rumor, the piece of armor originating (by name) from within the current Holy Danikan Commonwealth was harbored in Sacred Solntze-Grad's capital SG1.
In the declaration of war, King Niller gave the ultimatum to 'hand over the holy artifact (The Holy Chestpiece of Danika) or face an invasion force with the sole purpose of retrieving said artifact.'
Clearly itching to put the training of their new-formed military forces to work, Master Paladin Massolit of Sacred Solntze-Grad accepted the war state. The battle was held two days later. Despite the stated intention of invading Sacred Solntze-Grad for the artifact, Vejlandene on the opposite side of Winterlyn was chosen as the actual battleground. Why and how a military force that is supposed to defend an artifact hidden in their capital would take it that far into enemy territory and be allowed to build a fort there as a base … remains open to residents' speculations.
According to Almanac records, 'the Mercenaries of the Nautic Syndicate under [G.A. Austrobernd] reverse engineered the Enderian UFO, which crashed into the Vargisk river two months ago, and drove it above the Winterlyn Fortress with a division of Nautic paratroopers' as passengers. On the opposing side, Master Paladin Massolit of Sacred Solntze-Grad honored his once-leader Tomoko by creating a similar craft designed after the Excani station Areios. Photo 023 shows the restored remains of both crafts and forts after the battle.
On the page in the Autism Almanac, details about the battle can be read. Most of the report was written by the clear victors of the Holy Danikan Commonwealth, but spectator comments were included, providing a balanced account of events which were concluded by handing over the sought-after chestpiece to King Niller.
Just hours later, apparently having specialists test its authenticity, King Niller declared the cuirass a fake. “This is an insult against the ENTIRE Commonwealth!” he yelled in outrage. “This is a DISGRACE. We must rally our forces once more!” This was met with a level-headed “I ain't gonna support you” from G.A. Austrobernd. When his annoyance was met with indifference on M.P. Massolit's side, the King tried to bribe his enemy into handing over “the real one”. After he calmed his temper, he confirmed that M.P. Massolit was still allowed to use his fort and even build a small settlement around it.
Summarizing that outcome, while officially the Holy Danikan Commonwealth won the battle, in reality Sacred Solntze-Grad gained a foothold in another nation's territory.

Northern Sitzfleisch
(fl) Long lost survivors from Newfoundland found their way to Alpha's Realm after five years of searching. Residents Wolleman and FeuerFischer (a.k.a. chucky280) hail from Me Gustown and have decided to “just take it slow this time.”
They made their way to the quiet northern rim of our world and started a cozy settlement there. One of the first structures they completed, though, was actually a fifth XP-farm in the End which they finished around Christmas time last year. It is a far walk to go but open to the public, located to the southwest of the End Island.
Their overworld settlement was suitably named Sitzfleisch, “the greatest German noun we could come up with.”

Islands Lost
(sc) Upon a tour request by a reporter last Tuesday, Resident Dora revealed that he had left the flying Chicken Islands “about a month ago” to pursue a village project on firmer ground. He does not wish his current whereabouts published just yet, but since Slavia Confederation lost its last inhabitant with him, the journalist felt that his contributions to the flying island deserve to be commemorated. Photo 024 shows a collage of the most spectacular views.

The Autism Project
(ar) Resident Xcont finished the huge project that landed him with currently 2.5 million blocks changed in the past two months on place one of the Autism List. The tower that serves no purpose and looks like a map glitch at first glance can be viewed at the coordinates When asked, he spontaneously called it “the Big Shit Tower” and did not seem inclined to think about it any further. The tower's completely hollow inside will remain empty and dark. It has a diameter of about 125 blocks, reaches from bedrock level all the way up to the highest altitude of Y256, and is built entirely with stone bricks.

Deco Clock
(ar) At the coordinates of Alpha's Realm, Resident Wolleman of Sitzfleisch built the template for a clock that is free to use for other residents. It covers a quarter clock face and requires four maps to be rendered after placing the hands. Those maps can be placed in frames and rotated as to display various times as demonstrated on photo 025. The static map clock serves decorative purposes only.

Regional News

Holiday Progress
(pg) Last Wednesday, Resident Spon2007 from the settlement near Phiagrica talked to a reporter about his usual weekend progress. He noted that during the holidays, he'd had more time and used it to create a humble bridge leading to the Breshikan oblast Drenesk over the nearby lake. What started out as a one-block supported railway bridge has since been widened to allow for safe cart exits and equine or group crossings. He also established a nether portal in his settlement after finishing the central farm house. His settlement has not yet been named.

Local News

Area Cleanup
(mm/ar) During explorations, some Midgardian literally ran into dirt/ wood/ cobblestone pillars strewn about the forest between Second Spawn and the Slavia Confederation. Since the area was otherwise unused, those marks of pre-civilization were removed and the area restored to its natural beauty. Left was only one wanderer's knapsack which to relocate to the resident's new home moderators did not feel was their responsibility. Around it were placed signs informing potential new settlers how to go about removing it, if so wished.

Midgard's Alpha Realm News
International Edition
January 18th, 2016

Editor's Note:
Pictures can be viewed at when exchanging '???' with the photo number given in the articles. Other links lead to this server's wiki.

In Worldwide News:
Russian Noob Greetings, page 11

In Regional News:
Nautica Joins Mercymnius, page 30

In Local News:
AMUN Construction, page 34

Worldwide News

Trash Bin Alterations
(te) For the second time this year, the trash bin at Anon1234's Endermen Farm was found defunct last Wednesday. While the first time Moderator Niller1703 had discovered that Resident Mimokrokodil had apparently tried to apply a noise fix and later repaired the damaged part himself.
This time, Moderator P_P_A found a dropper placed facing the wrong way, again by the same handyman, causing a loop in the bin that prevented it from emptying the trash.
Resident Mimokrokodil did not react when asked about the first incident and was not yet encountered again since the second; it is therefore unclear what purpose his interference with a working system had.

Ghosted Bear
(er) In the earliest hours of January 14th, Speaker BearMonger of the Republic of Ender complained about being punched by an moderator “being invisible and hovering next to me. […] I'm idling in a safe area with no mobs around and no source of damage. Suddenly a ghost punches me. Either it's a ghost or it's an invisible mod,” he concluded. Since the summoned Moderator Koduck deigned to answer the call from the ether, he was the first to be blamed by Speaker BearMonger because he was the only moderator “currently active”. Actually, at the time no moderator was active in Alpha's Realm, to which Speaker BearMonger claimed, “Mods can log in without their activity showing up.” At that point, Moderator P_P_A reacted to a summons as well, and the debate quickly escalated from mechanics to logic to mental issues to politics. In the end, the accusation was dropped without anyone finding out what, if anything, really happened aside from a sudden bout of paranoia.

Russian Noob Greetings
(ns) Last Wednesday's early afternoon witnessed Resident Nick4629 greeting several immigrants with a barrage of unwarranted attacks.
According to the assailant, he hit Immigrant Bratka “with an Enderpearl once. He killed me. Now we can't stop this.” He later claimed the first hit happened “on accident”.
However, the retaliation was entirely one-sided as after this, Resident Nick4629 repeatedly killed Immigrant Bratka upon spawning and extended his attacks on entirely unrelated residents as well as other immigrants that happened to spawn at that time.
Visitor LoveAndCaring, for example, had barely opened his eyes to our realm when he was attacked not only by Resident Nick4629, but also repeatedly shot down by the latter's comrade Resident Xpeh_wam. Having been killed eight times without any explanation or chance to even look into his (as yet empty) knapsack, LoveAndCaring was chased away likely to never return.
Relatively new resident PolyMoose was also attacked just because in basic iron armor and thus thought to be “one of them”, but in his own words “managed to abscond thanks to potions.” Another immigrant, Fedora, was murdered the very second he lit upon New Spawn. Upon his bewildered reaction of, “That's not good,” Resident Nick4629 answered, “You see, there's no concept of good. And you're Russian.” With that, he consecutively slaughtered the immigrant eight more times right at the spawn plaza.
When questioned by the press about his reasons, Resident Nick4629 claimed, “They're all one person, one of those who did Russian invasion once.” (He was referring to the Byntari invasion of June 16th last year.)
Since there had been no proof pointing to such a connection, Resident Nick4629 was asked how he had reached that conclusion, to which he jovially admitted, “I just need a reason to kill them.” While he chatted, Immigrant Bratka used his distraction to kill the multi-murderer who then retreated, leaving Immigrant Bratka to seize his possessions.
Around half an hour after the kill spree had started, Moderator Rosenmann grew aware of the commotion. As soon as he asked about “some killings” from the ether, Resident Nick4629 requested, “Yes, ban both of us,” which Moderator Rosenmann was unable to comply with at that time. When the staring circumstances were explained to him, the moderator suggested, “Just give back your stuff and don't bother each other.”
Resident Nick4629 revealed that Immigrant Bratka had killed him using a hack while he was placing a chest to return what few items he had taken off his victim. As there was no usual PvP death message, this suspicion has a high probability of being accurate, and Immigrant Bratka did not deny the charge.
However, the matter of innocent bystanders having gotten brutally involved in the feud weighed more heavily, as Moderator P_P_A confirmed when he arrived at the scene to conduct an investigation and view recorded evidence. He also proved that the three attacked people really were not just one person, and “LoveAndCaring and Fedora don't even have any block changes,” meaning they never got a chance to touch anything.
Moderator P_P_A ruled that, “This is not like it's the first time you've gone and killed people near spawn for no reason. Also whatever they did, this kind of slaughter here is excessive.” Resident Nick4629 received a prison sentence of slightly over one day for 'Illegal PvP', and minutes later, Resident Xpeh_wam who did not react to the interrogation received the same punishment.
Immigrant Bratka was told to return the items looted from Resident Nick4629 and reluctantly gave in.

Frame Petition
(ns) After many rumors without actual implementation, Resident TheNerd96 started an official petition on the New Spawn plaza last Thursday, 'to install an entity protection plugin like FrameProtect to prevent the griefing of item frames, paintings and armor stands.'
Currently, there are three votes for it, two against and a neutral one, likely demonstrating the reason why it had not been implemented right when first considered.

Lanno-Condeuran Community Work
(lc) On Sunday, King Darynu of the Kingdom of Lanno-Condeura absolved Prime Minister Salah of Umm Al Asufli of past crimes after the latter submitted to reciting a contrition pledge and accepting community service as reparations. P.M. Salah was given the task of levelling a small island to water level and commenced immediately.
The island in question is close to Lanno-Condeura's new capital Daoine City and blocking proper access to the harbor bay.

Regional News

Nautica Joins Mercymnius
(na/mc) Last Saturday, the Nautic Syndicate decided to join the recently revived nation Mercymnius as a province. In a treaty that can be found on the page in the Autism Almanac, all property is to be shared equally among residents of all three of Mercymnius's territories.
To flesh out the new connection, Emissario Paper of Mercymnius started the project of a small nether hub, with a first straight and secure line already finished to the New Spawn Netherhub. A second line to the Nautican island is in the works, and the Mercymnius station itself shows strong influence of designs first used in the HDC Hub, showing respect for Grand Admiral Austrobernd's origins and aesthetic prudence.
G.A. Austrobernd of the Nautic Syndicate also gave permission to extend a NEAR Transports line to his nether portal.

Local News

First Level
(mm) During the past week, Midgard Administration stepped up their game. Following tenuous obsidian mining, the huge amounts of nether brick continuously smelted after the railway construction was used for the pillar's outer wall. While this disagreed with the designer's intentions, it allowed the building to process rapidly. Inside, the first level with a height of seven blocks is being used as a permanently manned wheat farm following examples seen in other nations. Administration has given the go-ahead to implement more such fields on higher levels, which are given priority to the pillar's outside design until Architect Mel gets a change to adapt its look according to the materials Midgard Administration is willing to provide.

AMUN Construction
(mm) At the beginning of the new year, Architect Mel submitted a blueprint for the AMUN Publishing building that had been decided to preside over the western sub-island. With its design based on our settlement's flag, thus requiring sturdy colored materials, the plans initially found vivid opposition, particularly on the side of the miners who calculated and demonstrated that the necessary resources could not be quarried within Midgard Municipality's territory.
Gradually though, the design itself was praised as faithfully respecting Midgard's distinctive qualities which deserve to be honored.
After extended debates, Administration resolved to secure the required substances from unclaimed areas outside our own territory in order to build the publishing company according to the original blueprint. To this effect, a mining team was created under the leadership of newly promoted Geologist Aume and set out to a promising northern swamp.
Within days, the efforts of both the mining team and the constructors bore fruit, and the structure's frame is to two thirds finished.

Midgard's Alpha Realm News
International Edition
January 25th, 2016

Editor's Note:
Pictures can be viewed at when exchanging '???' with the photo number given in the articles. Other links lead to this server's wiki.

In Worldwide News:
Plaza Bombed, page 31

In Regional News:
Speermen Moves, page 46

In Local News:
Northern Access, page 49

Worldwide News

Nations' Clans
(ar) At the beginning of last week, Grand Admiral Austrobernd of the Nautic Syndicate made a curious inquiry regarding clans which led to the discovery that clan management were intransparent and outdated and barely connected to nations as listed in the Autism Almanac. “Clans are inconsequential,” Moderator P_P_A summarized, and after some research suggested, “Maybe we should make it mandatory for nations to have a clan, and tie nation validity to clan activity; i.e. if the clan expires from no activity, the nation is kill. Since you can only be member of one clan, that would also prevent the problem we had on Oceania of a few people being members of each other's nations to keep them 'alive', but at the same time we could still allow dual citizenship on the wiki.”
In consultation with God AlphaBernd, he received permission to implement the idea, and the nation rules pages was updated with the paragraph, 'If a nation's Clan becomes inactive, or if its member numbers drops below the threshold for maintaining nationhood, the nation is considered dissolved.' The time limit until inactivity is decided was raised from seven to thirty days. Although a page in the Autism Almanac is also a requirement for a nation to be valid, some clans have been approved in advance and their failure to list and present themselves is being overlooked.

Settlers Venturing to Northeast Edge
(ew) Last week, a colorful troop set out on a journey to the most northeastern spot in Alpha's Realm. With the intention of creating a wonderful settlement right “on top of the map”, they traveled through wild and hostile terrain with inexperienced but enthusiastic children in tow.
The day before, new Resident Vladislav had hired Slavking who had first awakened in our world, for coal mining, nearly squashing whatever interest might have caused him to visit. “I want to build stuff,” the newcomer had complained, “like autistic castles,” while being unable to craft sticks.
Witnessing the reaction to those disastrous first steps, Moderator P_P_A had offered to take both immigrants on a tour to prominent places in Alpha's Realm in order to reanimate the dying spark and inspire some ideas. However, they soon were interrupted and the tour aborted, nevertheless with the goal achieved.
On their way to the edge, Travelers Vladislav, Slavking and OrthodoxCrusader stopped by in various places, commencing their own tour. “We crossed the ocean. I've seen the whole country,” Resident Slavking mistakenly enthused, “Danish castle, Viking house, commieblock in the north.” His companion Vladislav added the “capital of Belarus” while OrthodoxCrusader best remembered the “pirate boat”.
After one last stop in Dorville, they reached their new home, already with many ideas in mind, and aptly named the place End of the World.
Within two days, a netherrail connection was established to a nearby portal, but since the small group values their isolation, they decided to establish an overworld track there rather than a portal access in their own town. The overworld rail was built by Resident Vladislav, while Resident OrthodoxCrusader greatly assisted NEAR Transports' engineers in constructing the netherrail tube leading to the portal named Edge Stretch.

Shopkeepers Strike
(ar) The world hiccup on Friday noon caused all shopkeepers of our realm to collectively go on strike. They left their posts without note and vanished into some unknown hideout, derailing half the economy of Alpha's Realm and leaving some places as ghost towns.
After they could not be found and therefore negotiated with, the next day the matter was brought to God AlphaBernd's attention, who discovered upon some background checks that enormous secret corruption had taken place in the shopkeepers' circles. He also discovered that Jinxauthor_Mel's own hasty investigation had caused the strikers to move and erase all traces of their activities from the records as a warning.
It was only thanks to God AlphaBernd's perfect memory that those records could be restored, his wisdom that the corruption could be countered and his charm that the shopkeepers were swayed to come back to work.

Swamp Settled
(ss) Arriving too late for the trek northeast but unwilling to wait for guidance, an immigrant named Dandoro who has a passing acquaintance with one of the settlers from End of the World decided to found his own nation with other friends in the swamp strip between Second Spawn and the Slavia Confederation.
Despite boisterous ambitions, he started with a most humble basic shelter and did not yet manage to introduce the many friends he claimed would join him. The new resident took interest in the laws of our world and strove to abide by them even when they were just haphazardly explained, and took responsibility when a mistake was made. His tentative settlement has not yet been named.

Targeted Resident
(ar) Last Tuesday, Resident Xcont was witnessed killing a person named Anusai and, when questioned, explained that this person was both a known griefer from a different realm and currently griefing his home base. When Moderator P_P_A arrived at the scene and saw the attacker kill Resident Xcont right in front of him before he could even finish stating that two people were fighting, he immediately condemned Anusai to a lifelong prison sentence and restored damage from as far as two days back. Unfortunately, the slayed villagers could not be revived.
Moderator P_P_A noted that the unconnected base in the northwestern corner of our realm had been targeted repeatedly by various infiltrators during the week before. Two of them named themselves 'xcunt', clearly impersonating a known resident, and attacked uninvolved people.
Resident Xcont could not or would not tell how the assailant had found his out-of-the-way home in the first place upon inquiry by both the investigator and the press. “This is envy,” he offered with pride and irony, “These schoolkids are jealous that I can create big pits.”
While the investigation continued, 'Anusai' tried to return under different guises, but suspicions ran high and immediate background checks allowed his repeated removal from our realm. Moderator P_P_A concluded that they are skilled jail breakers as not even IP-bans detained them for long.

Plaza Bombed
(ns) A chain of explosions obliterated New Spawn's spawn plaza Tuesday evening, catching unaware Immigrant Vladislaw in the blow. The damage was immediately discovered by Residents Wolleman and FeuerFischer of Sitzfleisch, and captured on photo 026.
While investigating the scene, an invisible Resident Mimokrokodil attacked Moderators P_P_A and GlitchyBat as well as both spectators and stole possessions of the dead.
Moderator GlitchyBat soon restored the spawn plaza and Resident Mimokrokodil received a one-week prison sentence by Moderator P_P_A. Within minutes, the imprisoned convict complained through the bars in broken English and gave as only explanation for his actions the answer, “JFL […] well it was too funny!!!”
President Hinoarashi of the Republic of Ender offered Resident Mimokrokodil to become “a state-funded terrorist”, but the latter eventually revealed, “but I don't want come back.”

Wood Factory
(ch) Last Thursday, Resident Toyvo of northern Chernolesovsk invited Immigrant Dandoro to his wood factory. He did not stick around to explain the mechanics of the machine, and Immigrant Dandoro seemed lost among the mostly Russian and few bad English signs in town. When he found the factory, he discovered it not working and requested advice or assistance from anyone around.
Moderator June took a look at the map and offered advice based on his impressions but could not go to the scene to check the machine.
When Resident Toyvo returned the next day, he claimed several pistons missing and blamed Immigrant Dandoro for not following the “literally hundreds of signs”, but did not actually submit a grief report. Together with a reporter, the latter visited the factory again and explained what he had found and done. A melon investigation did not uncover any changes on pistons, and all Resident Toyvo had to say was, “We fixed it.”
The newest additions were proper English signs leading visitors not only to the public wood factory - thanks to Resident Vasyan who had placed most of them earlier that day - but also through the entire process of using it, newly described by Resident Toyvo.

BlackB Back
(ts) After half a year of disabled communication, Resident BlackB of Taushahar returned to Alpha's Realm last Wednesday. He discovered that his shop had gone strong even without his presence, earning him “6,5 stacks of emerald blocks. Outjewed the server, even when I weren't here,” he summarized proudly.
In his home town, he discovered some minor griefing and unfinished houses as well as the spectacular elevator - created by Speaker BearMonger of the Republic of Ender - “broken, one half stopped somewhere in the middle.” The engineer has been notified and will look at the problem later, so Resident BlackB won't fall to his death too often when using his “emergency ladder”.

Western Colonists
(ar) To the west of Resident Xcont's troubled base, Immigrant Grum requested permission to settle a three-biome area with three more people. Although they have neither named the area nor founded a city-state, the group is working very fast in removing the forest and creating great structures, as can be seen around on our realm's map. His right to use that much space with four people, especially at the edge of the world, was confirmed, and Immigrant Grum stated that he would write an Almanac page for their group and territory at a later point.

Regional News

Speermen Moves
(sf/ds) Duke Speermen of Skellie Farm returned on Saturday to “clean up” his capital Skellsborough. He explained that he had received permission to settle in the Duchy of the two Sorras, and did not wish to leave unfinished projects at home. In this case, the clean-up entails “tearing down to try over. I have new concepts for walls and station.” For the duration of the de- and re-construction process, access to both overworld and nether station were temporarily restricted. The work itself seems to be slow-going while at the same time new buildings are being erected in South Sorra.

Local News

Northern Access
(mm) Since Midgard Administration hastened the establishment of a netherrail connection to the far north, Midgardian tourists are now able to visit the map arts and small blaze farm directly from Utgard station. As a byproduct, more explorers' gates were set up on the way, and the NEAR line up north now connects to the Old Spawn Network, allowing for a round trip through three quarters of our realm.

This page concludes the Archive section of the weekly MARNIE editions. As of February, the newspaper will be released monthly, and the Archive will combine the editions of half a year on each page.

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