REAL ARMY LOIF OF ELGGU 1488% LEGIT(now with More elggu loif in the FDF)

Translations for winnish impaired :–D

-PIC 1-

Liutenant: What it this half a company sized circus in here

Corporal: Its the Profile Riders(medical profile) liutenant sir.

Liutenant: oh for fucks sake

Private 1: Hurry up to formation private (name unstranslatable consists mostly of army slang consisting of funny names)

Private 2: the best VMDL(release from harsh manual labor.) marching speed, onward.

private 1: hey wasnt your other feet broken yesterday.

-PIC 2-

Medic: Then you check the groin for any bullet wounds. Shove that hand bravely down there private nothing is gay in the army there is only brotherhood.

Private 1: Sorry buddy.

Private 2: Be gentle.

-PIC 3-

Meanwhile in the Garrison Equipment storage

Storage Worker: They fit just fine and we dont change wet clothes for new ones sam.

(FDF FUN FACTS:The usual army storage people are generally hueg dicks and they wont change wet clothes for new ones for some fucking reason and the clothes never fit properly even if you take your proper size and the darker the coloration the better old ones look like they have been bleached and are shit to wear)

-PIC 4-

Liutenant:let us rehearse the firing range rules. what are the situations where you can shout STOP.

Privates: …..

Liutenant: Oh for fucks sake whe have gone through this atleast 20 times and you still dont know this when we come to the fiering range. Now take that fucking adventuring( slag word for fuck up/idot/retard/general dumbassery) hat from your heads and say something

Private 1: was it something relating to flying saucers.

Private 2: If the connection to the weenie(slang for slack off) guard gets cut off.

private 3: fug say something or we'll be get to run all over the range again.

-PIC 5-

a marching song consisting of saying the finnish equivalents of chip and dale with each step and corporal says anges and donald. pretty much a word play in finnish if you dont have leet finnishing skillz you wont get it.

-PIC 6-

From the background: the air is making a ripping sound(literal translation means artillery incoming)

Private: COVER

Corporal: Boom Boom Boom(simulating artillery :DDD). This is why i went to become and NCO.

Liutenant: Private clean up your gun its full of shit.

-PIC 7-

From the background: Youre dead fucker.

private: FUG

FDF FACTS: The things around the shoulders and helmet are the receptors for the lazer guns attachment they put into the RK-62. You run around the forest getting shot and whe youre hit the things starts pinging.

-PIC 8-

New recruit: S test what is that.

Private 1: S like as a sperm test that gets done to all recruits during the initial health check up. you jerk off in a cup

Private 2: Corporals will monitor you during test and help if needed. Then they will mess around your balls with a cold spoon.

Private 1: Then theres the a-test

Fresh recruit: w-whats that

Private 1: Anal test :-DD

FDF facts: the new recruits get told by the previous batch of troops that theres all kinds of gay tests being done to them in initial check up. Initial test consists of a basic health check and a piss test for drugs.

-PIC 9-

MP 1: It was a good thing to become a MP. Think of it. Now the others are crawling in the dirt out there in the ass end of a nigger and we're just here sitting at the gate and just slacking off. Good job man good job.

MP 2: What the fuck are you saying faggot its friday night and everyone is on leave having fun and getting drunk. Everyone but us.

MP 2: And the same shit next week end.

MP 1: Good job ;_;.

-PIC 10-

Privates: Att-

Privates: ATTENTION

Private 1: Whore (word play)

private 2: Sir MP company room number 8, commanding officer corporal jerkoff, ready for your cleanliness check. Reported Private notsohard.

Corporal: Thank you. To your places

Corporal: At ease have you been cleaning. Someone answer.(no talking without permission)

Private 2: Sir yes sir.

Corporal: What is this. Someone answer.

Private 2: Stardust sir. (Theres a somewhat popular song in finlan about startdust every fucking where song by samuli edelman.)

Corporal: Wrong its shit. Room did not pass the test recheck after an hour.

Corporal: hehe rookies will never get to sotku(every garrison has a garrison run shop that sells sweets/coffee/donuts etc where the troops spend most of their time when not allowed to go outside the garrison)

-PIC 11-

Meanwhile the FDF was concentrating in the most practical of things

Corporal: Attention/atease/attention/atease/hat off/hat on/etc

Corporal: Question.

Private 1: Sir corporal private goofy may i get to adjust my appearance.

Corporal: GET YOU DONT GET LAID IN THE ARMY YOU GET LAID ONLY OUTSIDE THE ARMY AND ONLY IN THE WEEKEND.

Private 1: SIR CORPORAL SIR MAY I ADJUST MY APPEARANCE.

Corporal: What are you adjusting.

Private 1: i am scratching my nose

Corporal: You may.

Corporal: ADJUSTING ENDS IN 3 2 1 ATTENTION

corporal: atease attention hat off hat on :–D

FDF DO WORK WITH A MEANING

FDF FACTS: This is pretty much all you do on days when theres no official sceduled activities. The corporals mess around with you and do parade ground moves and shit with you.

-PIC 12-

Mean while at the firing range

Liutenant: let us check that no one has any munitions left over from the range. Present 3 magazines and expose the firing chamber

Private: Sir we have checked 4 times already

Liutenant: Then we will check them again.

liutenant: Attention Atease.

-PIC 13-

Private 1: ogei guys let us fire up the stove.

Private 2: What are you doing with that light petrol OH NO YOU DONT.

Private 3: COWERRRR

FDF FACTS: People too lazy to use light up the stove proper just tend to shove petrol down there and light that up. This tends to cause the stove to explode/set fire to the tent or give the people around it severe burns :—-D

-PIC 14-

Private 1:Sir private dolan reporting for a smoke.

Corporal: What monarch ruled britain between 865-871 you should know this.

Private 1: Bono

Corporal: Wrong go back to the end of the line

Private 2: Damn i would have know this.

FDF FACTS: When going for a smoke the corporal/private etc responsible for monitoring exits and entries from barracks during free time can ask what the fuck he wants from those reporting out for a smoke etc and they have to know the answer.

-PIC 15-

Batallion Commander: And when every trooper returns from leave their fucking barets will be in proper form and shape. Now the whole company looks like a fucking batallion of bakers.

Private: Fucking william you should be ashamed of that pie on your head look for inspiration from my Proper form.